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'Marry someone you can be quarantined with' | Experts give relationship advice amid lockdown

No matter how much you love your significant other, being confined in the same space for weeks, even months can be challenging. So, experts are here to help.

WASHINGTON — With stay-at-home orders still in effect, some couples may be struggling with spending all day, every day together. A couple of experts and one married couple understand the challenge and offer ways to keep love alive.

For Maurice and Kameelah Spence, who have been married for seven years, the last few weeks under lockdown have been great.

Both tell WUSA9 that being under quarantine has only strengthened their relationship. Their faces still light up when they see each other.

"I'll be honest with you, it gives you an appreciation because when you're forced to be around somebody the whole time, you actually see why you got married," Maurice Spence said.

Credit: Kameelah Spence

The Spences said their key to happiness is respect and communication.

"Carve out some time to really try to devote to listening to each other," Kameelah Spence said. "Positive energy helps."

While the Spences are doing well, others aren't so lucky.

Harriet Lampkin is a divorce lawyer at Lampkin Law Firm based in South Carolina, which is also under a stay-at-home order. She tells us her phone has been ringing off the hook.

"Between March 16 and April 5, my divorce calls probably increased 70 percent," Lampkin said. "At first, I was just taking them, taking them, taking them. Then, I was like, 'Hold on. This is ridiculous.'"

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From finances to unresolved conflicts, the list gets lengthy when describing the issues couples are having.

"All this time and togetherness, I find that couples are saying, 'Hey, we don’t have many things in common,'" Lampkin said. "There's so much death around COVID-19 that people are re-evaluating their life."

In China, the city of Xi'an saw an increase in divorce filings before their lockdown lifted, according to the Global Times. It is too soon to tell if that is the case in our region. Courts are only taking hearings on emergency matters.

So, what can you do to keep your relationship healthy during these uncertain times?

Dr. Kia James, a therapist and podcaster in Prince George’s County, encourages couples to communicate, have some fun and seek professional help if they need it.

Her podcast, called "Relationship Boosters," is focused on helping people improve the quality of their relationships.

"Tap into how they're actually feeling. Don't just assume," James said. "Ask how this has impacted their day, and how they’re impacted as a whole."

She said open the dialogue even further about what is affecting the relationship and how you can do more fun things together like games, biking or walking together.

"Fun is actually what we call relationship glue, because it helps people enjoy each other’s company again, which is sometimes what’s lost," James said. "It can be just as small as that."

"Here’s what I tell my single friends: Marry someone you can be quarantined with. It matters because you just never know," Lampkin said.

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