Parents work hard to provide for their families — maybe harder than they need to. That's because they're probably overspending on their kids, according to Brett Graff, the author of Not Buying It: Stop Overspending and Start Raising Happier, Healthier, More Successful Kids. Here is Graff's advice on raising great kids without breaking the bank.
Q: Do you think parents put too much pressure on themselves?
A: Yes, we all do. Parenting has become a competitive sport. We now think saying "no" to a particular expense means saying "no" to sports, health, education or safety. And that's just not the case.
Q: In what ways do parents overspend?
A: Well, when we have babies we — admit it — can't believe hospitals are letting us take home real, live humans. We will prove ourselves by buying the best car seats, cribs and bath seats. But all those products are required to meet the same federal safety standards — from the most expensive to the least expensive. Then, we feel pressure to buy educational toys, but there are no federal guidelines for stamping the word "educational" on anything. We hear other parents sing the praises of private school, but new studies show kids in public school make more educational advancements. The list goes on and on ...
Q: Why do they do that?
A: Raising kids is the most important thing we've ever done in our lives. We are deeply committed to this cause. We are emotional and we are terrified. We are the perfect consumers.
Q: Have you done it yourself?
A: Yes, that's why I wrote the book! Many chapters are based on the mistakes I made. Save yourselves, people! Save yourselves. (There's also still time for my kids. ... They are ages 12 and 14.)
Q: At what point is a promotion and a raise not worth it for a parent?
A: There's no such point. A raise is great, congratulations. It's how you apply the extra money that makes a difference. Are you buying educational toys without funding a college savings account? Not good. College is the only way we know will guarantee a better life for our kids. Are you buying organic produce before sitting down to write your will? Bad idea. It's more likely we'll die from a cause other than conventional produce, and we need to protect our families. Use the extra money on an emergency fund or a retirement account. That's what will protect our kids.
Q: What’s your No. 1 piece of advice for parents?
A: When a group of parents are sitting around a table, discussing the product you must buy for your child or the class you must take, read my book, look at these people, stand up, walk away and say and say, with confidence, "I'm not buying it."
Q: Any special advice just for dads?
A: Yes! Dads, you will not have any say when it comes to style, color or decor. But you can jump in with facts. That's your specialty. So remember, all baby products must meet the same federal standards, smaller homes offer a litany of psychological benefits for kids, organic — and other supermarket labels — are worth learning (sustainable? Yeah, that's not a thing ... it's something supermarkets give their own fish...) and private ANYTHING (schools, lessons) offer no guarantees.
