WASHINGTON -- Hi, I'm Mike Wise, of House WUSA9, first of my name and founder of the #ShameOfThrones support group.
[Group responds]: "Hi Mike."
We at #SOT are committed to creating a safe place for men and women to share their experience, strength and hope. Especially when it comes to feeling like you're missing out on watching this adult Dungeons and Dragons thing they've had on TV for the past eight years.
You people at work that humiliated us each Monday, told us we must watch "the best series ever," you think we had 73 hours to binge Game of Thrones and catch up so we could join your sub-Reddit group?
If it really put you in touch with your medieval self, why didn't you just go to a Renaissance Fair and buy a turkey leg and some grog? Hell, go jousting for a day.
But I digress. We are not here to talk about others, to condemn, criticize, or judge anyone. In fact, Shame of Thrones is actually here for you now.
See, we at #SOT heard how the last season and the botched series finale angered loyalists from all Houses, and first and lasts of their names. Good people of the Internet told us a character apparently with a high-fiber diet beat out many deserving kings and queens, that the truly noble and courageous had to go back to their mail-room job.
Since many of you GOT addicts now realize you've wasted eight years of your Sunday night like the people who used to watch Lost felt after that brutal series finale, we welcome you now to Shame of Thrones.
And although you don’t know us , we already love you in a very special way. There are no dues or fees to #ShameOfThrones. Just know fire cannot kill a dragon, but support groups can heal them. Recovery is coming.
[Column Interlude: I know what you're thinking: Mike, why did you start a Shame Of Thrones support group? And should people actually take you seriously with this recovery bit?]
Thanks for sharing. Keep coming back. The program works if you work it.
Anyhow, thanks for letting me share. I'll go back to listening and promptly get a sponsor after tonight's meeting.