STAFFORD COUNTY, Va. — The Stafford County Sheriff's Office is happy to report that everything is swine.
A pun-filled news release described the animal antics that an officer encountered Monday as he safely rescued and relocated a pig. (Hat tip to the communication professional who wrote the news release; many of the puns are included in this report.)
A deputy from the Stafford County Sheriff's Office encountered a real road hog early Monday morning, which he initially thought was a pigment of his imagination.
The Fourth of July was proving to be anything but boaring.
Deputy R.M. Connelly got an unexpected sowprise Monday morning when he found a loose pig on the side of the road.
The deputy was conducting a traffic stop just after 6:30 a.m. on U.S. 1 near Hospital Center Boulevard when he discovered a small animal.
You may be familiar with the saying by Yogi Berra, "When you come to a fork in the road, take it."
Deputy Connelly tweaked the saying to, “When you come to a pork in the road, catch it!”
The colla"boar"ation of Deputy Connelly and nearby citizens averted total mayham.
There were sow many ways for the situation to take a turn for the worst, but luckily, no one pulled a hamstring.
The group used dog food to 'hambush' the pig and gain the upper ham.
Stafford County Sheriff's Office interrogated the piggy to cough up his name. The piggy allegedly told police his name was Harry Porker.
According to police, the pig confessed that he was heading to Hogwarts, but his tales turned out to be a case of im"porcine"ation.
The piglet was later identified as Chris P. Bacon. Police said Bacon was headed to the movie theater for a double feature of 'Jurassic Pork' and 'Pretty in Pink.' The pig's story may be hogwash since the Aquia Town center movie theater was closed years ago.
After posting about the pig on Facebook, several people were calling him Wilbur, in reference to “Charlotte's Web."
Thanks to Deputy Connelly and the good Samaritans, this little piggy went "wee, wee, wee" all the way home - well, to the Stafford County Animal Shelter until his rightful owner calls to claim him.