WASHINGTON — What’s the biggest struggle you face as a mom today? Chances are whatever you just answered, many other women are facing the same challenges.
Tara Clark, creator of Modern Mom Probs, wrote about the problems mothers are facing in her new book, Modern Mom Probs: A Survival Guide for 21st Century Mothers.
“One of the biggest problems I see for modern moms, especially during the pandemic, is loneliness actually,” Clark said. “Because that’s something that was present before the pandemic but has only been exasperated more since then.”
This especially applies to mothers of very small children – newborns, infants – those moms are usually trying to connect with others online or in person, but because of the pandemic, Clark said it’s made it hard to connect with people in real life.
In her new book, Clark also talks about how moms need to share the load when it comes to traditional housekeeping responsibilities like cleaning, cooking and taking care of the children.
“To be honest, I do still bear most of that responsibility and I know a lot of modern moms do,” Clark admitted.
But she added that sharing the responsibilities starts with a conversation between you and your partner.
“It’s an important conversation to say, ‘Listen, this mental load of motherhood is so much. It’s hard to think about the birthday presents and putting away the laundry and the grocery shopping and work stuff and the children’s wellbeing,’” Clark said.
It takes deliberate practice to have this type of honest conversation with your partner.
“I think we have to give ourselves some grace, we have to give our partner some grace and we do need to have those conversations about sharing the load.”
Clark also recognizes the increase in mompreneurs and the struggles women face when trying to run a business while raising a family, and also not losing themselves in the process.
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“We often talk about balance, right? Like work-life balance. But we shouldn’t strive for balance because the concept of balance means that something will always be off, right? Just as you get one thing going something else is going to fall off,” she explains.
What Clark recommends you strive for instead is effectiveness.
Ask yourself: How can I be an effective mom today? How can I be an effective spouse today? How can I be an effective employee, entrepreneur, and whatever else your roles are in life.
“So you really have to strive for that day, in that moment, in that particular period of time – how can I be as most effective as I can be,” Clark said.