WASHINGTON — Today’s Most DC Thing comes to us from viewer Lenora Simpson who sent us this picture of a bus bench chained down to a street sign. Whomever did this, I’m not mad you. Protect your investment!
This is the Most DC Thing because not only are benches at risk of being stolen in this city, but the people protecting them are doing the bare minimum to keep them safe. Everything they used to protect this bench costs $10 at Lowes.
I don’t know who is out here stealing benches, but they are going to need a bolt cutter this time. I doubt smuggling a bolt cutter would be an issue for someone planning to steal an entire bench. A proper bike lock costs more than this setup.
This doesn’t sound like a crime that a homeowner would commit, but who else has room to store a public bench? Somewhere, people are having a wine and cheese function at a fancy backyard gazebo sitting on stolen benches that have seen more butts than an ashtray.
This is also Most D.C. Thing because only in D.C. would people see a bench that isn’t 500 pounds and welded to the concrete as a come up. The only silver lining in this is that it takes a pretty strong thief to steal benches. That criminal is gym goals.
If you see a "Most D.C. Thing" reach out to Reese Waters on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram and don't forget to use the hashtag #MostDCThing.
CORRECTION: A previous version of this story erroneously reported the bench belonged to Metro and that it was involved in the construction of the Purple Line. We regret the error.