WASHINGTON (WUSA) -- Do you want to read a recap of the Spurs 118-92 victory over the Washington Wizards? Of course you don't. You have Ted Leonsis' blog for those purposes.
So please, go ahead and humor yourself with my take on the events of Monday, November 26th at the Verizon Center.
5:37: Wizards head coach Randy Wittman jokes about how he wishes the Spurs got caught up in a snowstorm while playing the Toronto Raptors in Canada. It sounded to me like he was only half kidding too. When somebody wishes a snowstorm to happen, that's when you know they absolutely hate going to work.
6:20: TNT reporter David Aldridge works the media room crowd like he's an incumbent politician. People glow over his thoughts on RGIII, Maryland to the Big 10, and the New York Knicks. Believe it or not, Aldridge didn't field any questions on the Wizards.
7:01: Nats GM Mike Rizzo is in attendance. Wait, I know how to get fans in the seats! Raffle away Nats season tickets. Not just that though. Throw out Natitude t-shirts, Curly W hats and even have ceremonial 'first shots' from Nats players. Once pitchers and catchers report in February, media coverage for the Wizards will shrink by 33 percent.
7:11: The fact that the Wizards still make their fans stand up until the first basket is made is cruel and unusual punishment, something the constitution legally protects citizens from. This is a team dead last in field goal percentage, three-point percentage and points per game. Hey Ted, you shouldn't demand any type of action from your dwindling fan base. Be happy TiVo exists or the 10,000 people who showed up on Monday would be at home watching X-Factor.
7:24: What if Gary Neal turns out to be better than Bradley Beal. #ThoughtsWizardsFansActuallyHaveToPonder.
7:26: When does Trevor Ariza's buyout happen? He plays like he permanently has strep throat.
7:35: I've got a brilliant idea. Instead of showing the Wizards on the big screen, it should be a running loop showing the best "Kiss Cam" moments. Would anyone honestly vote no against this?
7:44: One thing the Wizards haven't changed throughout the years: they have the most abominable internet capabilities of any sporting venue I've ever been too. Isn't this something VERIZON could help correct? I guess good internet connectivity is just as hard as putting together a half-decent NBA roster.
8:02: The Spurs make more wide open shots than Vincent Chase from Entourage.
8:19: I go to the media room for halftime, come back out to my seat and it's at least 8 degrees colder in the building. Ted, are you really cutting costs midway through the game?
8:34: There are fifth grade girls with more coordination than Jan Vesely. Hell, he falls on the floor more than half of the Capitals on ice. Since the team is on the verge of starting 0-12, I think fans are due an apology from team president Ernie Grunfeld. "I'm sorry," may alleviate some of the pain.
8:49: The dance cam is struggling to find enthusiastic fans -- even toddlers in the building are grasping. You just can't fake energy in this type of atmosphere. Not even Michael Jackson would bust a move when his home team was down 102-74 early in the fourth quarter. Get used to this Verizon Center. It's not even December.
8:55: Cue the fire drill at the Verizon Center. Fans stream towards the exits at the 5:51 mark in the fourth quarter.
9:09: Is anyone else starting to think John Wall is healthy? I'm starting to lean that way. His knee injury had an eight week timetable...well, it's been eight weeks and he hasn't even PRACTICED. I don't blame Wall for milking this injury. What is the rush to get back? His agent is probably concocting his client's exit strategy from D.C. as we speak.
9:22: The Wizards (0-12) have completed just 14.6 percent of their NBA season, yet it's already over. Nobody legitimately enjoys coming to work here anymore. Most hair products do a better job of gelling than the Wizards roster. The beat reporters obviously are having trouble putting together fascinating stories with the lack of any activity. The entire coaching staff is already anticipating when they'll be fired. Life at the Verizon Center is at an all-time low, and there are no signs pointing to when the misery will end.