CLINTON, Md. (WUSA) -- The woman once married to the DC Sniper talks to 9News on this grim anniversary, 10 years after her ex-husband began terrorizing the nation and three years after he was put to death.
This was the second time 9News' Surae Chinn had interviewed Mildred Muhammad. She seemed brighter and more open to talking about the torment her ex-husband had inflicted on her and the nation.
"All I was trying to do was find my children and stay alive."
Mildred Muhammad remembers living in fear, never thinking the man she was married to for 12 years was also the DC sniper.
"My fear was heightened above everyone else's. If the sniper doesn't get me, John will."
Mildred was asked if life was better without John Muhammad? "I didn't need John to be executed for life to be better. It's painful for my children and that's something we had to deal with."
Mildred Muhammad says the man she once loved changed wehn he returned from the Gulf War and had said good bye to the man long before he became a killer.
She says their three children are now in college and have come to terms with the fact their father was the DC Sniper.
"Yes this was my dad. It does not define who I am. They still call him dad."
The FBI had told her she was the primary target during the three weeks of terror and for that reason, there is still pain all these years later.
"It's a touchy subject because people blamed me. What if you had stayed with John? He would have just killed you. People on the east coast would still be alive."
Mildred Muhammad says she feels pain for Lee Boyd Malvo who was recently interviewed by the Washington Post. She says she doesn't feel qualified to react to Malvo's interview but says she takes him for his word, because he was there.
She's writing another book about her healing process and she is busy with her domestic violence organization 'After the Trauma.' She serves as the spokesperson, traveling to military bases talking about PTSD and domestic violence.