If You're Worried About H1N1 And Pets, Well, You're Only Human

(USATODAY) -- It's one of life's little ironies: You happen to boast about your legendary viral resistance at a dinner party, and next thing you know you're laid up with the H1N1flu. What's up with this flu season, anyway?

And it's not just about the humans. Any sign of a cough or sniffle in a pet -- especially when met with an equal human reaction -- seems destined to end in a conversation like this one:

PAW PRINT POST: Protect your dog from deadly canine flu

H1N1: U.S. officials confirm virus in pig

SWINE FLU CENTRAL: Latest news, videos, CDC tracking on interactive U.S. map

Them: "Oh my God, doc, do you think we both have the swine flu?"

Me: "No. In fact, there's no evidence dogs or cats have any susceptibility to swine flu. Based on its genetic origins, it would be a huge stretch to assume there's even the most minute possibility of transmission -- even if you were currently infected with H1N1."

But that doesn't keep the calls from coming in or the swine flu conversation from holding sway in the exam room. Everyone, it seems, has a question, an opinion, a fear.

And it doesn't help that I occasionally have to excuse myself when I sense a coughing spree coming on. When it happens (as it often has over the past week), you don't have to be a mind reader to know that -- mask or no mask -- clients would prefer you not spay their dog that day.

Then there are the miscellaneous questions about pork consumption and keeping birds safe or pot-bellied pigs isolated. Not that I'm a bird vet. Not that I've even met a pot-bellied pig in years. Not that it's been months since I actually consumed any pig meat.

But I guess a veterinarian tends to be more accessible than your average physician. Which is why I'm happy to take on these questions and more. After all, it's within the scope of my public-health duties to do so, whether it concerns dogs and cats or not.

Here's where I explain that pork consumption offers no risk of H1N1 transmission. None whatsoever. Eat pork if you like, but worry more about trichinosis transmission and animal welfare than the flu.

Despite the fact that one pig in Minnesota was diagnosed with H1N1 this week, there have been no reports of transmission between pigs and humans in the USA. (And in this instance, as was the case with a few pigs in Canada, the poor piggy got it from a human ... not from his porcine brethren.) Oh, and your pot-bellied pig? If he gets it, it's because you gave it to him. So give him a long leash if you're diagnosed.

As to the birds: H1N1 has not yet made the leap to pet birds. In Chile, one turkey farm was infected, probably by a human. So far, there's no evidence that birds can transmit it to us. If you are infected, however, give your birds a wide berth to keep them safe -- just in case.

So in spite of the very human concern that pet owners or their families might be infected by pets, the truth is that any old shopping mall is a far greater threat to human health than any pet -- at least with respect to viral infections. Animals such as pigs and birds, by virtue of their confinement, are far more at risk from us than we are from them.

It also doesn't help that "dog flu" has been in the headlines. As if the waters weren't muddied enough with all this viral apprehension, reports that dogs can catch a flu strain called "canine influenza" hasn't boded well for my clients' stress levels. Pneumonia. Sudden death. Fever. I smell more fear.

Yesterday I pulled a sewing needle from the trachea of a Maltese whose owner swore she was suffering from the dog flu. Talking owners down off the flu ledge has been the windmill tilt of 2009. It's as if last year's economic woes sought a new vehicle for our fears, and its moderate alleviation left a vacuum for our angst. Influenza is Chicken Little's new anthem, it would seem.

And now if you'll excuse me: I have to go blow my nose and down some more of that vile Theraflu stuff. I've got to keep healthy enough to continue to feed my family -- even if it does mean my clients should be more wary of their health in my presence than their pets'.