Cell Phone Etiquette

(KARE) -- At a place called Cupcake, it's only fitting that employees think their customers are pretty sweet. But one kind-of customer is leaving a sour taste: the people who talk on their cell phones at the counter.

"I've actually had customers tell me to hold on while they finish their conversation," says manager Becca Brents. "Usually there's a line out the door behind them, so that's really annoying."

Brents thinks it's so rude, she recently penned a couple of signs that ask customers to refrain from using their cell phones at the register.

"People who notice it the most are the people who aren't on their phones and they think it's hilarious," Brents says. "They're like, 'Is that sign really necessary?' And we're like, 'Yeah, unfortunately, it is.'"

In a society that relies heavily on technology and constant communication, some people are demonstrating poor etiquette. For example, the person who texts or checks their e-mail while talking to another person.

"You can't just turn off your cell phone when you're with me?" asks Greta Hau. "It just makes you feel like they don't really want to spend time with you because they're busy."

Another example: the person who texts (or actually picks up the phone) during a movie.

"I cannot stand the bright light and being able to see exactly what the person is typing in front of you," says Kali Harrison.

Then there's everyone's favorite: the loud talker on the bus.

"There's always one person," says Ryne Erickson. "Not everybody, just one person who sticks out and they just can't really take a hint."

Planes aren't immune from poor etiquette either. Harrison was on an airplane with a woman who was talking loudly about inappropriate things.

"When she finally hung up the phone, everyone on the airplane clapped," she says.

These stories don't surprise etiquette expert Laura Barclay, founder of the Etiquette Centre of Minneapolis.

"Technology was created to help us," Barclay says. "It's something that we are to control and not let control us."

She says texting or checking your e-mail while in the company of others can be seen as a "social snub."

"What it does is it sends the message to the peson that you're with that you're not important, that their time is not valued," Barclay says.

If you're grabbing drinks or a bite to eat with a friend or relative, it's best to just put the phone away. If you're expecting a call, you can keep your phone on vibrate and let the other person know you've got a call coming.

"Very few calls or e-mails or text messages are emergencies," Barclay adds.

Places of worship, museums, libraries and hospitals are also off-limits when it comes to talking on your cell phone, she says.

It can be OK to check e-mails or text messages at libraries and museums (unless phones are restricted at those places), but Barclay says you should keep it to a minimum, avoid distracting others and find a private place, if possible.

Texting and checking your e-mail is an etiquette no-no at movie theatres, concert halls, weddings, funerals and church services -- unless you step outside.

Work meetings are a different story. Some bosses want employees to check their Blackberries during meetings; others don't. Barclay says it's up to the boss.

Perhaps the biggest complaint is people who talk too loudly on their cell phones. Southwest Transit, which runs buses between downtown Minneapolis and the southwest suburbs, says loud, inappropriate phone conversations are its number one complaint.

Southwest Transit asked a committee of riders to explore the issue. Those riders recommended posting signs on the buses that say, "Respect Others." The signs feature a cell phone icon with a slash through it and the word "Courteous."

Bus drivers also ask passengers to refrain from talking on the phone while driving through the so-called "quiet zone," which is basically the highway.

The changes took place in late spring. So far, the feedback has been positive.

"Even those who don't like it, they understand it," says Southwest Transit CEO Len Simich. "And we've hopefully been able to retain those as customers."

If your friend or relative is using their phone in your presence, it is O.K. to say something to them, Barclay says. However, you may want to show more caution before confronting a stranger who's speaking too loudly on the phone.

"You need to actually go with your gut," she says. "Is it appropriate? Do you feel that person might be threatened or will threaten you?"