Star in your own movie

Every morning I get the chance to interview interesting people. Tuesday on the 9 am show it was Max Sindell. He's a young guy fresh out of college. He's the author of the new book ""The Bright Side: Surviving Your Parents' Divorce." Max told me that he started thinking about writing this book as a teen. He's now made it a reality.
I was fortunate to never have to live through a parents divorce. I've also been extremely fortunate to have a solid marriage now in it's 26th year. A lot of that is a credit to, okay who am I kidding, all of it is a credit to my wonderful wife Kate. She deserves an award for managing to put up with me.

Max's father was already divorced once when he was born. So he points out he has a collection of step brothers and half brothers and on and on. He never imagined his father would divorce again, but he did. His parents split up. He talks about how painful it is for a child to go through a divorce.

Max says parents argue about two things during a divorce, money and the kid or kids. Since money usually involves the kid or kids as he points out, the arguments are all about the kid or kids. That makes it tough.

But Max points out how to survive and also includes his kids bill of rights. It's powerful stuff. Ironically we were visiting with a friend recently, when she started talking about her daughter who is in the midst of a bitter divorce. Our friend told us her daughter picked up her son after a visit with the ex husband. The child asked, "Mommy when will you let Daddy come back home?" She pointed out that Daddy wasn't coming back. The little boy told the mother he couldn't wait to get home so he could call his dad and let him know. She soon learned that her ex husband had put the child up to asking the question. All too often the children unfortunately become pawns in a divorce. Max points out the kid needs to be neutral and doesn't have to be drawn in.

His step-father helped him a lot with this bit of advice, "You are the star of your own movie. Everyone else is just a supporting character. If someone is in your movie and they're not supporting you, they get fired. But also remember that you're not the star of anyone Else's movie." I think that's good advice for all of us. I think that's one of the reasons why Max has such a great attitude about divorce. Unlike so many others he doesn't look at the downside of divorce, he looks at the benefits. He has people in his life that he never would have known had their not been divorces in his life. It's proof again that attitude is everything. So be a Star in your own movie and give the heave ho to the bit players in your life who really aren't playing a supporting role.