Research

I'm up every morning at 2:30 in the morning. I'm here around 4. I'm on the air by 4:55 and off by 7am. That's when research begins in earnest for the next show.

The 9 am broadcast is a chance to showcase my interviewing skills. It's also a show where you are far more likely to look like a cretin. So that means research. Every day we get guests in as varied as dancers, actors, authors, members of congress. Take for example today, I'll be interviewing someone about Harry Potter, and then talking to someone else about Fidel Castro.

Naturally you have to get on line and do some research. You try your best to read the books if you are talking to an author. Unfortunately that can be problematic. Here is yesterdays exchange with Janet Terry who books our guests.

Janet: "You got the Castro book right?"
I thought about that for a few minutes, then with a puzzled expression I responded.
Me: "Uh, no I don't think so."
Janet: "What do you mean you don't have it?"
Me: "I mean I don't have it."
Janet: "Well I gave it to your son Trevor on Friday and told him to give it to you!"
Me: "That explains why I don't have it."

So yesterday I went to play tennis with my son. I mention it to him after taking a thrashing on the court. If you are keeping score at home, he won the set 6-2.

Mike: "Janet says you've got a Castro book for me."
Trevor: "Yeah."
Mike: "Well it would be nice if you would give it to me."
Trevor: "It's right there."
At this point he lifts up a book that's on the floor of the car and thrusts it at me.
Trevor: "There!"
Mike: "It would have been nice if you had told me about it."
Trevor: "I did, I said Janet's got a book for you. I told you Friday. You never listen to me."
Mike: "What?"

Okay the last part is a joke, I didn't say what. But just like the tennis match I lost this verbal skirmish with my son. Did he really tell me about the book? I'm not sure. What I do know is when it comes to research, the poor Castro author is going to find that I didn't devour his book. Hopefully my questions won't be imbecilic.

Another form of research is movies. Here's something you probably don't know but a lot of actors want you to see their movies. I know it's shocking isn't it. So they start by making us watch their movies. The premise is you won't be a moron when you interview them. Here is what they are trying to prevent.

Interviewer: "Wow so you've got a new movie."
Actor: "Yes this film was a real stretch for me I played a leprechaun, and since I'm 6-7 that was really tough."
Interviewer: "So what's the movie about?"
Actor: "Ireland stupid!"

Now after watching the movie that same interview can take on a whole new look.

Interviewer: "So you've got a new movie where you play a leprechaun, how do you do that when you are 6-7?"
Actor: "I don't know it was tough."
Interviewer: "Wow, tough huh, this is really a film about Ireland isn't it?"
Actor: "Yes."

I'm sure you can see how improved this interview is over the first. I had to interview Laurence Fishburne right after "Akeelah and the Bee" was released. He insisted that I see the film before the interview, or he wouldn't do the sit down interview. I have to admit, I'm a fan, I like his work. But the interview was in the morning and to put it mildly he was a little grouchy. It wasn't the leprechaun interview, but it was close. His answers were short, and not very insightful, and I got the distinct feeling he enjoyed being interviewed by me just about as much as I enjoy root canals.

The best form of research is the type I did last night. Once again I return to a conversation with Janet Terry.

Janet: "The people from Fogo de Chao are here tomorrow and they want you to come eat there so you can see what it's all about."
Me: "Okay."

So last night Kate and I went to the restaurant with the name that is difficult to pronounce. It's a wild place. They give you these little cards. One is red, the other is green. It's a form of green light, red light for your stomach. Green means bring on big slabs of meat. Red means I am so full I'm going to die.

The waiter is kind enough to explain that we can go back and forth between the green and the red. It doesn't take long before I'm ready to surrender, my red card is out. But then I feel guilty because everyone else is smiling and gleefully displaying their green cards. Plus all that meat looks so good. So of course I eat, and I eat, and I eat.

After dinner I think about calling Joe Bugel, the offensive line coach of the Redskins. He's the guy who gave us the Hogs, the heafty offensive line of the Skins back in their glory years. I play out in my mind how the conversation will go.

Me: "Hey Joe do you need a hog?"
Joe: "What?"
Me: "Joe I admit it, I'm a hog, I don't know that I can block anyone, in fact I'm not sure I can move,. But I have to be as big as one of your offensive linemen, because I sure ate like one tonight."
Joe: "How did you get my number you jerk!"

At any rate I've done my research. I can at least talk knowledgeably about one subject today. Now I better run down to the garage and grab the Castro book, at least I can skim through it before the author gets here. I know what you are thinking it's the leprecaun interview all over again. Please, I'm not that dumb! I know that Castro is from Cuba and not Ireland.