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Let's Be Real: Bald Is Beautiful? Coulda Fooled Me

10:39 PM, Oct 23, 2012   |    comments
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WASHINGTON, D.C. (WUSA) -  Last week, they released a study saying that men with shaved heads are not only perceived as more masculine, people also say they have more leadership potential.  

To which I say: Who wrote that?  Some bald guy?  I mean seriously, folks. I thank Michael Jordan for pioneering that sense of cueball cool. But c'mon, would he have shaved that famous head if the top of it had kept on growing hair? I think not.

I mean, I'm totally over the hair thing now, but doesn't this photo of me kind of resemble the great gazoo from the Flintstones? And we bald guys don't catch a break in the popular media. Think about it. Superman: good guy, handsome, super powers and full head of luxurious black hair. His nemesis is Lex Luthor. Defining characteristic: Bald. That's why he hates Superman. He's jealous of his hairline.

Harry Potter: wizard and really nice hair! Arch enemy:a guy who takes baldness to a whole new level. Dominant? Maybe, but not sexy. And the guys with the good hair always win in the end,don't they?

Now, sure, the no hair thing works well if you look like Boris Kodjoe but sadly Homer Simpson is a more achievable role model for many of us. And well, he's a tad short on leadership potential. The only good news: Homer's arch enemy is his boss Mr. Burns, who's sporting a hairstyle that looks far far worse. I call it the ring of death. Sometimes it even comes with some weird combover thing. And frankly even Michael Jordan couldn't make that cool.

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